Everywhere the Great Enters the Little….CS Lewis

I remember very distinctly, when I was young (…and stupid), praying for wisdom like Mama Sue. This is where I find God to be quite humorous…guess how you get wisdom??? Yep, the same way you get courage, strength and patience. *sigh*

Perhaps this prayer is why I go very much OCD when I read or hear something that strikes a chord in me about the nature of God. I must read or listen to it over and over and over again. Perhaps I’m trying to convince myself that it’s real or maybe I have to let it sink into every atom of my being, so that I know, that I know, that I KNOW. I very much wish I could be one of those people that can read it, accept it, remember it and move on to the next thing - this I think is true wisdom. Wisdom or philosophical nonsense…something drives me on.

So, the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. Yep, I’ve read this over and over and over. I recall the analogy in The Shack about the blue bird and its limitations. That it was created to fly, but you clip his wings and he must live within the limitations of the purpose for which he was created. Or perhaps when you humor a child in conversation…you get on their level.

Today I read an excerpt from CS Lewis’ book Miracles…

"Everywhere the Great Enters the Little. We cannot conceive how the Divine Spirit dwelled within the created and human spirit of Jesus: but neither can we conceive how His human spirit, or that of any man, dwells within his natural organism. What we can understand, if the Christian doctrine is true, is that our own composite existence is not the sheer anomaly it might seem to be, but a faint image of the Divine Incarnation itself – the same theme in a very minor key. We can understand that if God so descends into Nature, and our thoughts into our senses and passions, and if adult minds (but only the best of them) can
descend into sympathy with children, and men into sympathy with beasts, then everything hangs together and the total reality, both Natural and Supernatural, in which we are living is more multifariously and subtly harmonious than we had suspected.

“…the power of the greater to include the less…Montaigne became kittenish with his kitten, but she never talked philosophy to him. Everywhere the great enters the little – its power to do to so is almost the test of its greatness.”

My mom is teaching my son GREAT things...

We went to Albany the other night to see a spectacular light display put on by a private citizen. It is truly incredible, especially when the fellow does it out of the goodness of his heart. My son was memerized. He kept saying..."This is AWESOME!!!" As we started to drive away, he sat down in the back seat, totally content that he had just witness the 'best christmas ever', let out a sigh and declared with most certainty..."I getting some of those chistmas lights when they go on sale..." Thanks Mamaw!!! You are teaching the boy right!!!

Trying to balance on a tightrope of dental floss, juggling crystal balls, while a Bichon Frisé is biting at your heels is the best way I can describe what it feels like when you just can’t pray….whether from exhaustion, distraction, distress, oppression, deep hurt, finding it difficult to think, much less pray. Charles Spurgeon cautions… “for it would be dangerous to remain in so unhealthy a condition.” Yes Mr. Spurgeon I concur! Yet…what does one do when in such a dreadful state? Then I found this, humbled by these men, I am moved (relieved, grateful, secured).

…taken from PrayerGear...Pastor Richard Wurmbrand endured 14 years of torture by the former Soviet Communist regime, three of which were in confinement in a cell thirty feet below ground. He writes, "In solitary confinement, we could not pray
as before. We were unimaginably hungry; we had been drugged until we acted like idiots. We were as weak as skeletons. The Lord's Prayer was much too long for us-- we could not concentrate enough to say it. My only prayer repeated again and
again was, 'Jesus, I love You.' " (Tortured for Christ, 1998.)

Wurmbrand, speaking to an assembly, described even greater depths of inability. Wurmbrand explained how he no longer could worship in prayer, being beyond words. He
thought to himself something like, "If I could just stand up, Lord, would that be acceptable worship?" But Wurmbrand couldn't stand. What followed was, "If I could then just raise my arm in your name, would that be enough?" With the
little strength he had left, he struggled to raise his open hand into the darkness of his cell. He couldn't quite get it above his head. But he knew it was acceptable. That was his prayer, more profound and articulate than any I have ever offered.

Romans 8:26-27, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searched our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”

Carlo Carretto, who joined the Order of the Little Brothers of Jesus during a prominent career as a Catholic activist, retreated into the desert of North Africa. Although a very different place than Wurmbrand's desert in the Communist gulag, Carretto observed a similar progression of prayer: "Every word of
consolation seems like a lie. One believes one has been abandoned by God. In this deeply painful state, prayer becomes true and strong even though it may be as dry as dust.

"The soul speaks to its God out of its poverty and pain;
still more out of its impotence and abjection. Words become even fewer and barer. One is reduced to silence, but this is a step forward in prayer! It is limitless, whereas every word has a limit. And spiritual greed? Oh, that's always there! It hides under the ashes, but it is less violent, more prudent.

"God now again intervenes with his consolation, since it would be impossible to live in that state of abandonment. He returns to encourage the soul with the touch of his gentleness. The soul accepts that touch with gratitude. But it has become so timid through the blows it has received that it dare not ask anything
more...Left to myself, with my own strength, I have felt the painful reality that without God's help we cannot say even 'Abba, Father.'

"Deep down the soul has understood that it must let itself be carried, that it must abandon itself to its Savior, that alone it can do nothing, that God can do everything. And if it remains still and motionless, as though bound in the faithfulness of
God, it will quickly realize that things have changed, and that its progress, though still painful, is in the right direction.

"It is the direction of love! This realization will come like light after darkness, the midday sun after the dawn. What matters is to let God get on with it." (Letters from the Desert, 2002.)

Words do not come easy sometimes or just simply aren’t enough. John says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Abba, thank you that your Word is in me. “Let the Word become flesh in us, flesh of a man who accepts the kiss of Judas and calls him friend, even when he comes at the head of an armed gang to arrest you.” (With God in Solitary Confinement). Oh..., God, please go ahead and get on with it.

Homesick

So, I've had an "Aha..." moment. In my last post, I said that I felt homesick. At lunch today, I went into the local bookstore across the street - this will make only the 2nd time since its existence that I've crossed the threshold of the business. I was in the market for a journal, and it was convenient, so there you go. The journals were on the bottom shelf, and as I was hunched down a stole a glance to the next shelf. Right before my eyes was the title "HOMESICK..." Hum, what's this about? It was the gift book of Mercy Me's song entitled "Homesick." Needless to say...this book was going home with me.

For about a year and 4 months, I've been in a funk that I really, until today, couldn't figure out. And I certainly have NOT figured it all out in one lunch hour, but I do think I've been given a launch pad...so to speak. I've been quite weary...on a pilgrim's quest of some kind - information and circumstantial overload. There is just something that hasn't been quite adding up, nor do I think it ever will this side of heaven. But FINALLY an English word that can sort of sum up what I feel…Homesick.

1 Corinthians 13:12 sums it up best. “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known.”

This weekend will always be etched in my heart. We said our goodbyes to Joshua’s Pa Hartley. Pa graduated last week. As I write this I wonder what he is doing right now…almost with a hint of jealously. I am a foreigner in this land – this becomes more and more evident to me every day. Don’t get me wrong – of course I want to grow old with my husband and children, but I’m VERY aware that I don’t belong here – maybe the best way to described it is that I feel somewhat homesick. I’ve been told that when I see Him, I won’t ask “Why?” but rather state… “Why, of course…!” Like I’ll get “it” whatever “it” is. Yet, my urgency to get home is not to ask questions, but to continue my love story - I want to see His face CLEARLY, to be tangibly held in His embrace. I want that immediate healing of EVERY place in my fragile, broken heart the nanosecond my eyes meet His…. finally and ultimately free, secure. To have my Cinderella moment with MY Prince Charming *sigh* - I’m a true sappy romantic at heart. Oh I hear you now… “Don’t miss what today holds looking for tomorrow…” I do choose to see the blessings that every day holds, and God reflecting through His people….but oh to be smitten and dazzled by my true love. Yes, it will be a good homecoming.

We saw many old faces - they conjured up memories…good and not so good ones (I’m praying for the Lord’s mercy!). We spent most of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at Mema’s with family. Tears were shed in the beginning, but by Saturday night, I had laughed so hard that I’m my stomach muscles are still sore this morning. It was a very cleansing weekend in a sense. I also noticed how much the younger ones are growing to look like their parents and/or extended family, having the same mannerisms and facial expressions - they were easily recognizable to be "one of us." Which brings me to my next pondering... am I easily recognizable that I'm one of His daughters? Are my mannerisms and expressions reflecting of whom I truely belong...?

Another Lauren funny...

The other night, Lauren compared Joshua to someone funny on television, but I can’t remember who, Adam Sandler maybe. Anyway, after she said it, she got a puzzled look on her face and then said… “I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult…” Joshua and I both burst into laughter. She has such a dry humor! I love it!

Values and Decisions

Have you ever sat down and really nailed out and prioritized your values? Supposedly, if you know them; decision making becomes a lot easier. Granted this makes sense, but boy let me tell you – defining your values isn’t the easy task once you get past the 2 obvious ones of Faith and Family. It has literally taken me all day to really create my well-defined hierarchy of values. I’ve had to work on it some, then leave it some, let it soak a little while, look up definitions. Whoa – I’m tired! I was given a list of values and from that list had to pick the most important ones. Then I had to categorize them; then create connecting themes within the categories; then I had to define the themes – the theme became my true value. I have 7 true values. Wait! I’m not done! Then I had to put these true values in an hierarchy whereby I had to ask myself what life would be like without this particular value compared to another, which one would have the greater impact upon my life. Greatest impact to least impact became my ….drum roll please…. Anna’s Hierarchy of Values. Holy Cow! Are you confused? Talk about a self moral inventory… Now that I have this list, I’m to make sure that my decisions represent my values and wha-la; decision making becomes a snap! I have a funny feeling it’s not going to be so easy at first. I’ve already noticed that some of my recent decisions do not represent my values…uh oh…now what? Hum, I’ll have to save that brain teaser for tomorrow!

Chess Game

I find myself once again with nothing to blog about. I don’t think it’s because there is nothing going on – more like so much going on, but I find myself in a “wait and see” mood – which has been spawned out of a “I’ve been defeated, so I give up” mood. Do not pity me in this, for I’m in a very good position. Now that “I’m” out of the way, God can do what He does best – fix it according to HIS plan and HIS purpose. And, quite frankly, I’m very much ready to be told what to do – I just want to follow someone else’s directions – His directions. I hope He will be more audible, something like the sound of a train or dynamite explosion would be great!!! I’m so NOT interested in the still small voice thing right now - too many of those swimming around in my head!

Two Princes

One…, two… princes before you now…
I know what a prince and lover ought to be…!
If you want to call me baby, just go ahead now…
If you like to tell me maybe, just go ahead now…
If you want to buy me flower, just go ahead now…
If you want to talk for hours, just go ahead now…!
It’s quiet at the office and I found myself drifting back in time, back to the Spin Doctors in Joshua's black jeep truck, back before bills and responsibilities, back before fat, flab, stretch marks, saggy boobs and butt. *sigh*
I guess we just have to Rock Steady Baby – thank you for that advice Aretha! At least I can still my move hips, regardless that I’ve got the …in the words of Jimmy S… middle age spread going on!

*sigh*

*sigh* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I am blessed!

Today I am very grateful for family and friends that I can call upon in a nanosecond to help! I’ve suffered with migraines and kidney stones quite frequently lately. And when the pain comes, everything in Anna’s world comes to an abrupt halt, but thanks to an incredible family and wonderful friends, life can and does go on without me. So, when asked, “Who are my super heroes?” My reply is my family and friends! They will stop what they are doing and help me find relief and then – here’s the best part – they will rearrange their schedules and pick up right where I left off to help with the children, house, etc. For example…yesterday, I had a ferocious migraine that had been working on me for 5 days. I finally went to the doctor for a shot. Not being able to drive, Daddy came to the rescue. Mom was heading out of town and Joshua was working late, so dad strapped on his boots and became the superhero of the evening. He drove us around gathering all the stuff needed. I went to bed and when I finally aroused around 9:30. All the children were fed, bathed, had all the homework completed. Is my dad cool or what!!! Also, this is homecoming week and today is Cartoon day. Hannah is Smurfette, so her costume had to be cut out of fabric and put together last night as well. Whilst I’ve got faith in my dad that he could have managed, I did somehow coherently ask Carrol Hays for help with this one, and she did an excellent job! Kudos for Carrol!! The best part is that I’m able to have confident faith in these guys when I just can’t go anymore. I had no worries that everything would work out just fine. I’m SOOOOOOOOOO blessed!

Explain to me why my son, who has been going to school for almost 3 solid months, who does the SAME routine every night, that when I say, “Do you have your school uniform laid out, including your socks and shoes?” And he then replies, “Yes Ma’am,” that by any stretch of the imagination, he thinks that socks and FLIP FLOPs are appropriate! Therefore, when morning comes, he pulls his little trick and then looks at me like I’m crazy that there is steam coming out of my ears, especially when he can’t find either pair of his tennis shoes! That he thinks he might have left them at Aaron’s, outside, to which they have now been rained on! And now I’m having to problem solve at 6:45 in the morning!!! I don’t like to problem solve in the morning, hence the routine at night, whereby you lay out your uniform, including your socks and TENNIS SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!

The game of LIFE

The other night, Lauren and I were playing the game “LIFE.” She is a board game freak! LIFE is kinda like monopoly, but much more fun in that you get to choose your career, homes, get married, possibly have children, and then retire with millions. It’s a total oxymoron! Anyway, 1/3 of the way through the game, Lauren gets married and has a baby girl. Then ½ way, she has yet another baby girl. At this point, I have a husband, but haven’t “landed” on any of the children squares. ¾ of the way, she lands on the square that says… “Congratulations! You’ve adopted twins!” To this she exclaims, with her hand to her forehead, “I’m exhausted, and I don’t have any more room in my car!” I thought I was going to fall out of my chair laughing! Reckon where she picked up that drama...!

Oh the things that amaze little boys...

I was blessed this weekend by getting to go to a women’s retreat. My mom and Joshua kept the children. Saturday night, Joshua and Joseph were lying in the bed. Joshua didn’t get home until about 10:00 and really wanted to go straight to bed, but Joseph had other plans. Joseph likes to talk. And talk, and talk. If he can’t find anyone to talk to, he’ll begin talking to himself (outloud)! He was talking to Joshua and it went something like this… “Daddy, you sure have been working a lot. Are you tired? (uh huh) Ya know, God works a lot too, all the time, but never gets tired. (uh huh) God is so big, but He can do anything He wants. (oh really) Do you know He can even get as tiny as your boogers if He wants to?!” You can imagine where the conversation went from there!

Morning Musing

I’ve always thought of myself as a morning person. Once I’m up, I’m up. The latest I’ve slept in the last year is probably 8:30 am! Yet I’ve had a revelation. Whilst I’m up very early, nobody else is – I’m usually alone with my thoughts, the remote or a book/bible/computer and a cup of coffee. So, I think I still qualify as a morning person, but one who likes to be alone and left alone until about 10 a.m. This revelation came to me when I was sooooo wishing for a door that I could close to my office the other morning. From 7 am-8 am, it is LOVELY – only 3 of us in the office, respecting each other’s quietness! Then everyone start coming in, and for the most part, going onto their office to not really come alive until well after 9:30. BUT, then there is that one fellow employee, who at 8:00 am, is ready to talk to someone, has her boogie shoes on, unloads a ton of questions about what has and hasn’t gotten done. This is when I totally understand going postal!!! And quite frankly, I get a little testy with her. Come on, I leave you alone in the afternoons, give me my mornings!!! Any-ole-who, I guess this is just an opportunity for growth. At least she is only annoying in the a.m. I have another fellow employee that is annoying from 8-5! I’ve just gotten really good at ignoring that one! Oh my, I sound horrible, but hey, at least I’m honest! :-/

A real Monday

Well, today is actually going pretty good, and it's a real MONDAY! :) It was, however, a very hard weekend - physically, spiritually and emotionally. BUT, I figure out why...I begin a bible study tonight with an exceptionally diverse group of women. Not any particular bible study with a workbook or video, but one where we are just going to allow the Holy Spirit to lead using teachers in our community and each other. I'm very excited about this because boy did Satan have a bullseye (sp?) on my forehead these last few days. Which I choose to interpret that God must have a lot in store for us (me) if Satan was trying so hard to tear me down! I must admit that I gave into some of his lies and tactics, BUT, I, along with some help from my girls, danced (literally!) my blues and fears away. My tears literally turned into uncontrollable laughter right there in the Presbyterian Church on Sunday afternoon! It was incredible to witness just what the Holy Spirit can accomplish in 2 hours with a mama and two young girls when you walk in with no agenda, just as you are, in childlike expectation of Him just to show up.

Over the last year, our family has seen and experienced some really neat ways to worship through singing, dancing, drama and the use of flags in churches throughout Alabama, Florida and North Carolina. Needless to say, in Camilla there just aren’t many places that incorporate this kind of worship into their services. Not that they wouldn’t, but they just aren’t doing it…yet. So, yesterday, we went to Walmart where Lauren picked out some rainbow fabric – got some sticks (which I learned later are called dowels…) and fabric glue. In 10 minutes we had 4 flags made, grabbed a random CD out of the car and headed to the church around 3 in the afternoon. I turned on the music, flipping through the songs while the girls danced around and waved their flags. I got to particular song, and it hit us all at the same time. A dance/drama/flag thing began to unfold. Within 30 minutes, the Holy Spirit had created something beautiful through our worship. Lauren wanted to share it with Wellspring that night, but I was hesitant. We didn’t have elaborate costumes; we had glued flags that were fraying; the dancing wasn’t perfected by rigorous practice – we were just right where we got out of the car – street clothes, no makeup, sweat and all, but Lauren insisted. I’m glad she was obedient. It was a god appointed moment. And I think if you choose to observe us through your spiritual eyes, you would have seen us in glorious, flowing attire, with immaculate flags, dancing in perfect harmony on shimmering clouds. Joey said he was glad that we didn’t have on costumes, etcs – that God meets us right where we are, just as we are, and will use ways that are so unique to us – where we are less likely to rebuff His incredible love for us. I think of Papa in the shack, God knew exactly the best way to approach Mack.

I think this may be a new chapter in our lives. I believe the girls and I have a date with someone very special Sunday afternoon. He's expecting us. :)

Monday extended...

I write this to either sympathize with you having a rough day or to make you feel better that you day hasn’t been as bad as mine…
4:00 am – wake up with a sinus migraine
7:30 am – get the children off to school
8:00 am – realize that Joshua isn’t getting out of the bed bcs he thinks he might have the virus
10:15 am – slam my finger in the door (which is now completely purple, and I can still feel my heartbeat in the tip of it)
11:30 am – Joshua calls – he’s throwing up and needs some Gatorade
12:00 pm – go to store to get aforementioned Gatorade only to realize that I don’t have my debit card
12:15 pm – arrive at home with no Gatorade and grab debit card
And by this point I’ve lost all since of time
I go to Riteaid to drop prescriptions and grab some saline solution for aforementioned Sinus issues.
I get in my van – it won’t crank…I call sick husband, who calls carquest to bring me a battery, BUT they can’t come bcs everyone is at lunch, which reminds me that I’m kinda hungry myself.
I call mom to pick me up – she had to jump out of the shower just to answer the phone, so needless to say, she would be awhile.
I decide to walk back to work – it’s two blocks and 90 degrees outside – I have on jeans, clogs, an undershirt and long sleeved shirt on (it’s freezing in my office!)
Sometime during the chaos, I found out that the children’s ride home from school fell through.
I finally get to said office, grab a company car to finish running my errands, which includes going to bank, and I just so happen to grab the vehicle whose driver side window doesn’t roll down.
My one hour lunch turned into an 1 ½ hour lunch of which I settle for a really gross chicken wrap from BK and totally forgot the Gatorade. It’s now 2:15, and I still haven't figured out how my children are getting home or how I'm going to get my car *sigh*…perhaps my evening will pan out a little better.

It feels like a Monday

I'm bored, tired and have a sinus headache. What a Wednesday...

We went to New Freedom Church in Webb, Alabama, to hear this gentleman speak. It was incredible to see what God has done in his life and how he continues to build the Kingdom. He held Hannah and her friend's attention for 3 solid hours with his very down to earth, humorous and sincere approach. I want to invite him to Camilla soon.

something i want to remember

The vision is birthed, then there is a death (which is INCREDIBLY difficult and not sure what is dying – self maybe) and then, only then, can the glory fall and the vision become a living and breathing reality. Deep calls to deep...Psalm 42

Jooosseeepphhh...(hee hee) not so loud...

So, we are in the mall in Albany getting some last minute school supplies. There is husky gentleman ahead of us with a long beard and a pony tail. I really don’t think much about until I hear a little voice behind me say, quite matter of fact, “…huh, well you don’t see that everyday…” It was soooo funny…guess you had to be there. At least he waited until the man was in a safe distance! Usually, he’ll say something within a very close proximity and as I’m turning three shades of red – the only thing I can think to do is shrug my shoulders and quickly find an escape route! And once we are safe, trying to keep a straight face and through my muffled laughter, I do my best to correct him. We never know what is going to come out of that boy’s mouth – I wish I could take a tape recorder around with me. Sometimes it’s not what he says, but how he says it and his facial expressions.

He Knows...

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you, Psalm 139:1-18.

Vacuum-sealed...

Who knew packing up stuff could be so much fun! These vacuum-sealed things are too neat! I was able to take 4 boxes of keepsake baby clothes/blankets and squeeze em into the equivalent of one!! Now I want to vacuum-seal everything!! Blankets, linens, hand-me-down clothes, heck – why stop there! Reckon I could get away with vacuum-sealing my children when they are acting up…just for a little while…LOL

The Clevers

I felt like June Clever last night. We all actually ate at the table – steak, spinach mashed potatoes, fresh sliced tomatoes, AND with real dishes! We LAUGHED A LOT! The neighborhood kids patiently waited for the children to finish so they could all play. The children cleared their dishes, gave me a kiss on the cheek, ran out the door as I yelled at them to be home by dark. Joshua and I finished cleaning the kitchen and went about our evening playing with the dogs on the back porch. There was a cool breeze in the air last night. It was great! AAAWWWW! All was right with the world... I cherish these moments.

To really appreciate this I guess you would need to know that most nights we are eating on paper plates with the children eating a the bar, and joshua and I standing at the kitchen counter. Usually it's because I've had an attack of OCD and must get something done or cleaned OR it because I'm totally worn out an all I want to do is sit and watch TV, read or play with the children and/or dogs. The children are usually busy until dark with projects or the neighborhood kids to the point that I have to "tie them down" to eat. And Joshua just falls in sink with the mood of the evening - one of the things I love about him. This is just our way of living - I don't think that it's a bad thing - just life! I did grow up where the evening meal was always around the table, with a meat, greens, starches and bread. And I used to compare myself to this constantly - feeling guilty. While I still feel it's important, I finally let it go. So, I really do appreciate, and I think so does Joshua and the kids, when we have a real deal sit down meal! I think I will try to have a least one a week.

Noise

I feel weird. There is A LOT of background noise. Not necessarily bad noise, not necessarily good noise. Just noise, lots of noise. While I do feel a little lonely, I know I’m not alone. Perhaps lonely isn’t the right word. But, it feels like I’m being observed to see what I’m gonna do next. Has anyone else felt this way? I’m reading a book about Job…maybe that’s it…

Mama's Blessing

Lauren totally stepped up to the plate. Yesterday, she was the woman of the house. Hannah went to work (she’s working at the Lodge some this summer), I went to work and Lauren stayed home and took care of Joseph, the dogs and her sick daddy (icky stomach virus). She was excellent! I’m so proud of her. Not only did she feed Jo and catered to her daddy, when I got home yesterday afternoon, she had cleaned up the house!!! Literally it looked better than when I left it! AND most of the mess wasn’t hers – talk about preferring others. What a blessing!!!

It’s always my first response to immediately assume that Hannah should be second mom in command. I guess everyone does this to the first born. This tends to get to Hannah, and I don’t blame her. Now I’m totally confident that the girls can tag team a lot more! Thanks girls!!

Won't you be my neighbor?

So we’re transitioning from the country to the city…well you can take a boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy! My boy(s) still insist on peeing in the back yard…note to self – get privacy fence ASAP! There was an old woman, she lived in a shoe, she had so many children, she didn’t know what to do! I counted 11 children in my den the other night – all neighborhood kids. It’s the first thing all the children do when they get home…ride to everyone’s house to see who is home to come out and play. I didn’t think I’d ever live in a neighborhood again, but never say never. The children, needless to say, LOVE it. Something is always going on and there is always someone to play with – no wonder they can’t wait to get home in the afternoon. And I must admit – I can’t wait to get home either, and I think Joshua would agree with me. It’s such a blessing to able to see your children crave home – and not just because of the neighborhood playmates, but because home is a safe, loving, peaceful place. When I say peaceful – it’s not what you think. IT IS MASS CHAOS at our home most of the time – lots of noise, lots of activity, YET it’s peaceful. I say it’s a blessing because I’ve experienced both a peaceful and a non-peaceful home. If you are fortunate to live in a peaceful home – say a prayer of thanksgiving! Quick! This is a blessing!!! If not, we have a heavenly father that wants to restore your home – ask Him!! It’s soooo worth it.

According to Answers.com the definition of peace is: 1. The absence of war or other hostilities. 2. An agreement or a treaty to end hostilities. 3. Freedom from quarrels and disagreement; harmonious relations. 4. Public security and order. 5. Inner contentment; serenity. OK – so as much as I would love to for it to be true, nos. 1,2 & 3 do not apply to our home… hello, I have three children and a husband. On some level we experience hostilities from time to time because we are human. OK – as to no. 4…order…yeah right…did I mention that I had 11 children in my home the other night. OK and no 5., well if I’m honest, this is what I strive for, but this is definitely a daily battle starting with the decision to be content even if I don’t feel like it. So the only explanation of the peace of which I’m referring to is “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, the peace that guards our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” Paul in Philippians. Thanks Abba Daddy for the peace that only You can give. SHALOM from my home to yours!

Forgiveness and Gratefulness

Ok, so I’ve been thinking about Hannah’s most recent blog, the one about Advice. Truth be told, when I first read it, the second time and the third time – my reaction was… “Quit whining and man up!!” “Try motherhood at 16!” “Try motherhood when you are literally below the poverty line and have to go sign up for WIC so you can feed them!” “Try motherhood when your spouse is not existent!” “Try motherhood when you are all alone and don’t have friends who are going through what you are going through!” “You think you’ve got is tough, you don’t have a clue!” For this I want to publicly apologize…I’m so sorry Hannah and all other moms out there. It bothered me that I had this reaction, and to someone I care deeply about! I had to get it off my chest. I tend to forget that no matter what the circumstances, motherhood is hard, tough, trying and demanding physically, emotionally and spiritually. In the end, we all share common concerns, prayers and hopes for our children.

I have found that the best way to combat all the …um – can’t think of a word here, so I’ll go with…crap, is having the attitude of gratitude. To be thankful for EVERY situation, even when it’s so bad that all you can think of to be grateful for is the fact that you can breath (thanks Mrs. Claire). When you begin to physically say, out loud, your gratitude, and with perhaps a good dose of tears – the gates of heaven open. God begins to transform your attitude, thoughts and perceptions. Notice I said God begins – you don’t have to do the hard stuff. The only thing you are responsible for is sending out the invitation with your words of thankfulness.

So I’ll start… “God, thank you so much for your provision for us mothers. Thank you for your faithfulness to do what you say you will do. Thank you that where you have started a good work in our children, that you will be faithful to complete it – even if we royally screw up the responsibility you gave us. Thank you that you guide our steps; that we aren’t left up to chance. Thank you that I have a home, even though you can’t see the floor for all the toys, the sink for the dishes and the fact that it smells like sweaty children. Thank you that I have clothes, even though there is a pile of laundry. Thank you that we have food to eat – even whatever that was that is now growing penicillin in the back of the refrigerator. The fact that we had enough to even have leftovers. Thank you that I have friends in my corner and love me despite of my rude, self pity reactions. Thank you that we have each other to hold accountable, to lift us up and to say, “yeah, I understand..” Lord, bless my friends, keep them, shine your face upon them, be gracious to them, turn your countenance to them, and give them your peace. Amen.” Now it's your turn...love you all. Go MOMS!!!

another tip...

There is a wonderful website out there that helps me not to stress over how to balance an 8-5 job, motherhood, housework, meals, being a wife...etc. It's www.flylady.net. This is a website that tells me where and what to clean for the day, reminds me to drink my water, helps me to take a break for me, etc. My biggest obstacle is the feeling of being so overwhelmed…If I do this, then I’ll drop the ball over there – you get the picture. I think I can honestly say Flylady saved us…it literally improved my attitude towards my husband, children, house, job and vice versa. Her motto is “Jump in where you are…” I don’t have to think about what to do – all that is required of me, my husband and the children is to follow instructions. Following instructions, believe it or not, can be difficult, but once you get the hang of it, it’s life changing. There was an MIT graduate that the studied all different types of chemicals, and had careers that dealt with such chemicals, yet he had a drug addiction. This particular man knew exactly what the chemicals were doing to his body, had been in and out of rehabs - he had the 12 steps memorized. This man knew the routine of the NA and AA program – the 12 steps, attend meetings, get a sponsor. There was really nothing that you couldn’t tell this man, yet he couldn’t kick the habit. Fortunately, he finally discovered what he wasn’t doing…he wasn’t following instructions!! Yes, he knew the in and outs of the chemicals, the program, but he was failing to do the simple thing of following the instructions of the program! So many times I find myself wondering how in the heck I get myself into situations or wonder why I can get “it” right. 99% of the time it’s because I didn’t follow the instructions. This is such a simple concept… you want the TV/VCR/DVD contraption to work correctly – follow the instructions! You want the Flylady program to work – follow the instructions! You want your husband to show you affection – follow the instructions! You want your children to be obedient – follow the instructions! Sometimes we just make life too hard when it’s so unnecessary! “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Y’all!!! It’s been laid out for us. AND, this is one area where you know that you will get complete and total results - these instructions never fail. Ya know, I think I’ll quote my dear friend and mentor, Jimmy Stewart,…“Free Will can be such a b#@%* sometimes.”

SuperFruit

SuperFruit aka Zucchini… Yes this is the way that Joshua got Joseph to eat this 4 bites of Zucchini…I mean, SuperFruit. I’m the practical, disciplinary parent and Joshua is the pushover, fun-loving parent. We actually compliment each other quite nicely. Well, I told Joseph that he had to eat his Zucchini, before he could get up from the table and/or eat his dessert of chocolate candy. Then comes the drama of the “I don’t feel good…” “But it will make me throw up…” “It feels gross in my mouth…” and my personal favorite… “I have a headache…” All these little nonsense’s go right over me – I don’t have time for that crap, now get over it and eat your Zucchini…that’s what I really want to say, but instead I just leave the room and begin cleaning up the dishes. It really doesn’t bother me how long he sits there…and whines, I can totally tune it out and go about my night. He will eventually eat his Zucchini when he’s not getting the attention and everyone has moved on…ENTER JOSHUA… “Joseph, what color is that stuff on your plate?” “Green,” says Joseph oh so pitifully. “What color is the incredible Hulk?” Joshua asks most enthusiastically. “Green,” says Joseph a little less pitifully. “That green stuff is SUPERFRUIT!!!” Joshua exclaims and bounds around the dinner table… and so it begins. I must admit that it was quite a show, and we were all laughing at Joshua and Joseph’s dialogue. About 20 mins later all the SuperFruit was gone off Joseph’s plate and Joseph was running around the house saying that he could feel is muscles getting bigger…(Had we done it my way it would have only taken about 5 minutes…he wouldn’t have sat there too long once the attention was gone) Joshua is an incredible father. And I’m so glad that he enters the rooms sometimes and can make things not so hard…or practical. AND I’m so grateful that my heavenly father does the same. Has your Abba Father given you some SuperFruit lately? Anyway, I don’t think Zucchini will ever be the same at our house…SuperFruit.

For all my fellow bloggers who are moms...

Ok, so I’ve read a few of my friends blogs lately, and thought I’d pass on a little sanity saver that was passed onto me by a mother of 8 and a mother of 5. This advice is a little early for some, but maybe it will come in handy eventually. By now most of you have found out that finding a few moments to yourself, other than at nap time, are few and far between. Now, I do my best to get up before everyone else to have a moment, and although I’m a morning person, this is sometimes still a struggle. SOOO…try this… Go to Target/Bed, Bath & Beyond/ or somewhere similar, buy a very large, comfy bath rug. Now, about the ONLY place that I could find peace was in the bathroom!!! I taught my children early on that if the bathroom door was shut, they must give me some privacy. Even my dear husband knows to knock before entering!!! Now, this is where the bath mat comes in. I’m so not kidding when I say this…I would sit/lay on the mat and say a prayer, or be still, or just take a breather! It’s AMAZING what a 5-minute timeout can do for a stressed out mom. I’ve been told by the mom of 8 that when teenage years come along, that sitting on a bath rug won’t be enough…It will take a hot shower to distress!!! Blessings...

A spin on discipline...

"When I was a youngster, " complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."

"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.

"I send him to our room!!" - Laugh-A-Lot

I love this... It's so true!!!

Joseph starting fussing in the car the yesterday morning. When I asked him what was going on, his oh so serious, 5 year old response was..."Hannah is getting on my nerves!! She is so annoying!" LOL! I was expecting something like - she hit me or something - not something so grown up like "annoying."

June 5...

"Nothing seems impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." June 5... This is what my silly calendar says today. The name of my calendar book is If you want breakfast in bed...sleep in the kitchen! It's filled will homurous quotes and statements, but the one today struck me different. Ya know, this is so very true...when we are letting God be God in our lives. I'm finding myself in some "impossible" situations lately. I get all work up...(this phrase just doesn't emcompass what I do to myself!!)..., trying to figure out how I'm going to fix it. I seem to have alot of things that need fixin, but truly what needs fixin is my perspective - shifting my focus to the One where all things are possible! (ok, my thought pattern left me so I'm gonna let you guys pick up where I left off!) LOL

Catching up

Wow, I haven’t written in a while… so let me catch up. School is out…whoo hoo!!!!!! My children did great! Both the girls exceeded in their CRCTs, and are straight A students, with Hannah’s one exception of a B in the third quarter in Math. BUT she brought it up in the end with a 101 average!! You go girl! Lauren shined again bringing home six medals. Yea!! Joseph happily graduated from K-4 and is very excited that he doesn’t have to get up in the mornings.
Baconton had a football game the last day of school. It was a lot of messy fun. It rained the entire game, but the children had a blast! Joseph took a nose dive into some mud and had to be hosed off. They literally rode in the floor board home. I’m really excited about the upcoming season.
Memorial Day weekend was fun. We played at the river, worked in the yards and played in the river a little more. We are soooo blessed.
Then we all got a horrific stomach virus – it struck Hopeful with a vengeance. L
This past weekend was the dance recital and 10 year reunion. Lauren danced her heart out and has been dancing all over the house since. The reunion…well, I must admit – I thought Joshua or I would never go to one of these… But, ya know, life has a way to remind you of what is most important and quite frankly, I was tired of seeing some of these folks at funerals – life is so fragile.
As I write this, the children and Joshua are at the beach, and I’m at work. I’ll join them Friday night only to return Sunday evening to teach 3rd – 5th grade VBS for 5 nights!

Where are we going!!! Surprise...to the beach!

CREATOR, THANK YOU SO MUCH












This was a surprise weekend getaway to the beach that Joshua gave me, thank you babe! Guess what we did? Exactly what we wanted to do! It was a nice break, but we must admit...we missed the children, especially when we were surrounded by so many families with little ones. It felt great to get away, but it felt incredible to come home!





before sun... after sun...








we match the color of the walls!!!

Everything ready made...

“Hannah, I just bought some oranges. Would you like one?” “Yes Ma’am” said Hannah “Are they ready peel oranges…?” At this point all I could do was give the child a hug…

can't think of a title....

I did it again. More funny stuff to write about last night and can't remember any of it now.... how does this happen?

Well, so that everyone can feel very old today....my Hannah will be in JUNIOR HIGH in the fall. Let me repeat that...JUNIOR HIGH.....HELLO! I'm about to have a junior high in my home...me scared (not really). So far the preteens are not that bad and I'm speaking LIFE into those teenage years and anyone who would like to join me, please go right ahead...right this very moment!!!

Lauren made it in her dance auditions! She is officially part of Dance Theatre South...yea!!

Joseph is turning into the comic relief with a HUGE heart. He wants to go to Africa to get the boys that are in the commercial on TV who don't have a mama and daddy....let me hear it "Aaawwww". This morning he was talking to himself in 3rd person...funny and a little scary.

I love these blog things, i want to find more folks I know and read about what's going on...keep writing (you too Haley!!)

I got u babe!

well i had this long drawn out ode to my husband for this blog and somehow managed not to save it (sorry honey). We really do have a sonny and cher "I got u babe" marriage... the song, not theirs in particular! I say will GREAT LOVE and CONFIDIENCE, I am my beloveds and he is mine.

Mother's Day

My Mom by Joseph Singletary, 5 years old...

My mom is 16 years old.
My mom is the prettiest when ever I see her.
My mom likes to make stuff out of clay.
My mom always says, God is our Father.
My mom is funny when she makes funny faces.

Out of the mouths of babes...

Happy Mother's Day!! I took a 3 hour nap!!!!!!

20 Questions

Why is it when I finally get a moment to write something, my mind goes totally blank? Joseph did and said some of the funniest things this last week, but now I can’t remember what they were! It’s soooo frustrating. I guess I’m gonna have to carry around a notepad and a pencil...of course, first I have to find one. For whatever reason, my children are drawn to a fresh, clean notepad. They can sniff them out and within 20 minutes fill the whole thing up with doodles. AND they always manage to find a pencil to do this, yet when it’s time to do homework – they can’t find anything to write with and their hand hurts…go figure.

After the T-ball game yesterday, we went to watch the high school team play. Wow, they can really throw the ball fast…I don’t know who was more amazed, me or Joseph!! Last night I crawled in the bed with Joseph. I bet we talked for 45 minutes – way past his bedtime. But, I cherish these moments – we talked about the game, about a little boy his age that was in a car accident – he paused to say the sweetest prayer for the little fellow – we talked about God and if He had a mama or a daddy. He had a lot of questions – but here is the kicker – he totally trusted my answers and rested in them, even when I simply said “I don’t know”. Oh to have a childlike faith, this is my prayer.

All in a days work...ha ha

The break was nice, but now it’s back to the routine. So much has happened in one week. I think all 3 of my children grew a foot over the break!! However, my mind still thinks that I’m on break. Yep, I have no ambition to get any work done today. I’ve been busy, but I’ve had one of those days…you know you’ve done something, but have nothing to show for it….I have the cutest notepad at my desk. It says “Pretending to be a normal person day after day is exhausting…so I decided to let go and just be me.” I think I’ve doodled my name on it 7 times. Maybe that’s what I’ve done all day…doodled. Is it 5:00 yet??

Spring Break

I’m still officially on strike, and my house is coming together…painting, ripping up carpet, pics being hung, all that good stuff I never got around to (we moved in with a 6 years old, 4 years old and 1 year old…need I say more?) Even Joshua is getting into the mood…yea!! The children have been on spring break this week. Hannah has been in the mountains with a friend. She has developed my since of adventure… you say the word go and she is going, she doesn’t care where or how long. I think she’s coming home today. I’ve only spoken to her a couple of times via text messaging, she is not the slightest bit homesick. Lauren has been hanging out around the house, from one family member to the next, a friend here and a friend there. She likes to go, but likes to come home too…especially to her own bed! Joseph is a complete homebody. He is perfectly content at home. If he does go, he’s ready to go right then, see the sights, say he has been there, done that and go back home. Now, he will go anywhere with his superhero dad who (whom, whatever) can kill any beast with his bare hands, who owns all the lands, who is faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than steel, and whose truck never runs out of gas (have no idea where that came from!!)…

Whatch gonna pay me?

OK it’s over, for the children anyway. They aren’t near as excited about the spring cleaning idea as I am. They have done “their” rooms and don’t understand why their efforts now need to be focused on the rest of the house and then the yards when it not “theirs”. Of course, they sit at the kitchen table that’s not “theirs” and watch the TV that’s not “theirs” and ride the scooter on the driveway that’s not “theirs”…funny how that changes according to THEIR wants. Anyway, is child labor still outlawed??? Oh come on, please do not tell me I have to give my children an allowance to do something other than walk, sleep, eat and poop!!!! How did they get this way??? I’ve never been one to reward them for petty things. In fact, I think the only thing they really have been significantly awarded for is getting shots and having no cavities!! Why then is the first thing that comes out of their mouths is… “so how much are you going to pay me?” Ooohhhh, this just burns me up!!! And naturally I reply, “you get to eat don’t you…or sleep inside instead of with the dog…etc.” Anyway, where is the servant’s heart…their grandmother, my mom, is queen of service for goodness sakes!! Ya know, with all this being said…is that my response to the Lord sometimes…how much are you going to pay me or what am I going to get out of this? Hum, that’s quite a humbling thought…

Perspective

Perspective - what a powerful word....

I entered the King's chambers this Tres Dias Weekend. We are so blessed to have an Abba Father that will meet us right where we are. I laughed, cried, danced, sang, ate way too much, slept way too little, blessed and was blessed, prayed and was prayed for. It was just the right umph needed to help me begin the ascent up the mountian...I've had enough valley time to last me awhile thank you very much!! Is my reality magically transformed? Nope, not at all. I still live in a broken world with a broken reality, BUT my prespective has improved with some heaven sent V8! De Colores from North Florida!

Switching gears, my baby turned 5 yesterday...What 5?! I can't believe it. He is playing T-ball. If you're having a bad day, go watch a T-ball game. It's sooo funny and will lift your spirits.

My family has gone on strike for the month of April from all activities. We are going to do some much needed spring cleaning and yard work around the house. We are doing nothing but T-ball. We aren't even going to go to church or parties or .... you get the picture - call it spring cleaning of the soul!! I'll let you know how long it lasts...

Weekend Getaway

God’s timing is amazing. Yesterday was truly incredible. It was as if God was solely focus on me and my family. Ask and you shall receive. I asked for a nudge from the Lord that would be totally and completely recognizable and full of clarity, and boy, did He show up! I love being loved by a King!! I head out tomorrow on a sequestered (absolutely no contact with the outside world – no phones, computers, clocks, etc) weekend for 5 days – Tres Dias. I’m serving in a position that is probably the least stressful… one that will have the most “down” time. I know I was placed in the position so that I could go and be still and quiet with My Faithful One. I’m literally craving to curl up in his lap and just be held so I can hear his heartbeat and rest to the rhythm. I’m so thankful.

My Faithful One.

Thank you Selah and Christy Nockels for these words and your beautiful voices… This is a song I’ve been singing and declaring over my life and the lives of my friends and family…

I find no hope within to call my own, for I am frail at heart, my strength is gone, but deep within in my soul is rising up a song, here in the comfort of the faithful one. I walk a narrow road through valleys deep in search of higher ground on mountain steeps, and though with feet unsure, I still keeping pressing on, for I’m guided by the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end, my true and precious friend, You have been faithful, faithful, so faithful to me.

I see your wounded hands. I touch your side, with thorns upon your brow. You bled and died, but there is an empty tomb, a love for all who come and give their hearts to You, the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end, my true and precious friend, You have been faithful, faithful, so faithful to me.

And when the day is gone and when the race is won, I will bow down before God’s only Son, and I will lift my hands in praise of all you’ve done, and I will worship You, my faithful one.

FAITHFUL, FAITHFUL TO THE END, MY TRUE AND PRECIOUS FRIEND, YOU HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL, FAITHFUL, SO FAITHFUL TO ME.

MY FAITHFUL ONE.

Father, thank you.

Jet planes and play cameras

HOLY COW WHAT A WEEK!!! It’s official. It has begun. All 3 of my children have to been in 3 different places tomorrow all at the same time!! I knew it was coming. I need a logistics major to figure this all out, and I have family that can help out. Kudos to those of you who pioneer this on your own!! And I have to pat myself on the back. Last night I ventured out with 4 children to the local department store, Peebles, AND they were hungry too. Yep I did it!! One 10 years old, one 8 years old and two 4 years old. And we survived! Bought 3 dresses for Lauren, a shirt and pair of shorts for Hannah, a skirt for me and here is my secret weapon…jet plane toys for Joseph and a play camera for Blake. Yep, I must say, after 10 years I figured it out. When you first get to a store, go straight to the toys, tell the little ones to find a toy that says 299 or 599 or in our case last night 999 ($9.99). They carry it around the store and it turns into a bargaining chip for the rest of the shopping adventure. Yes, I resort to bribery at this age, especially when they are hungry and tired…so shoot me. It totally worked!

The Joy of the Lord

This weekend Lauren asked Joshua a very serious question. One that I'm sure she has pondered for quite some time. And I'm certain that when she asked him that her posture posed the question and her was head was slightly down and titled to the side, yet her gaze was straight ahead. "Daddy, is there 24 hours in a day or is there 24 hours in seven minutes...?" "There is 24 hours in a day," replied Daddy. "Well, why do they say 24/7...?" I love it.

In the truck Sunday afternoon, we were making declarations of Truth. I would say a declaration and the children would repeat it after me. Soon they were really getting into and getting much, much louder. The toward the end I shouted, “I am a child of God!!!” and the children shouted it back, yet Joseph decided to add a twist… he shouted “I am a child of God, BOOYAH!!!” It was hilarious, and I know God was laughing too!!

My sweetie...

Why is it all the funny stuff my children do they do when I’m not near a computer or can’t find a pen anywhere in site to write it down. There were so many things I wanted to write about, but have forgotten most of them. I will tell you this. Jo has come around, finally. He has such a sweet heart. Sunday night I suffered a minor injury, however, I don’t do so hot with bodily fluids, so needless to say, it made me sick. Joseph and I were the only ones home. So, naturally, that meant wrestling match and the infamous pillow fight. Well, I knew it was time to file my nails, but oh my, this little task should not have taken the back burner. In my victory dance of the joyous pillow fight, my sneaky little darling hurled a pillow at me and I caught it with my thumb nail. OUCH, OH THE PAIN!!! Then he turned from sneaky to super sweetheart. He never left my side. He got me a wet rag and a cup of water. Called daddy on the phone to tell him that mama was hurt and to come home. He said, “Mama, when you get sick, I’m here to take care of ya. Can I get anything for ya?” Sooo, so sweet. I hope I’ll never forget that moment. It was almost worth the pain…almost.

Ramblings

TGIF!!!

Just when I sound like I know all the answers to the issues of others, God ever so gently reminds me not to get too cozy in my assumptions. That His ways are sooo much better than mine.

I do tend to think that I allow my children to handle their issues on their own for the most part. I don't want puppets on a string or robots, but relationships with vibrant personalities. I want to rear children to be able to cope when life throws them a curve ball, giving them the knowledge of where to turn for answers, yet wanting them to think for themselves, knowing where and how to find healing and restoration, yet giving them a choice. But, at the same time, I love them dearly, so I make suggestions, give my honest opinion on how I think best to handle a situation when asked, and perhaps even scheme scenarios and situations to see how they will react so that they will learn from them or maybe to teach them patience, strength and endurance. I can help but think this a close comparison to the way my Father loves me and wants me to grow into relationship that's vibrant with personality too.

It’s about that time again. I think it has been this way with all of my children, ya know, that discipline era that happens every six months and last for about a week, the one where it seems like you have to spank 3 or 4 times a day, every day, for up to a week. Yep, it's Joseph's turn. I really to hate this part of being a parent. I remember calling mama during one of Hannah's eras, crying that I felt like a bad parent because I was having to stay on her so much. Well, so much for that. With Lauren and Joseph...it's like...bring it on and let’s get it over with!! To those of you with just one little darling, you just aren't doing yourself justice. With just one, your heart gets broken so easily, but when the second, third, etc. come along, you really do realize that that little darling, with those sweet little eyes can and turned up lip, can play you up and down like a fiddle and you learn not to take it so personal. I should know, I was basically an only child and boy could I play my parents...sorry mom and dad. OK, i've rambled enough.

I've got friends in high places...

Sleep is a privilege these days. Even though I yearn to get a full 8 hours sleep (yes Kate and Hannah your day is coming...), I've been able to spend my waking hours with a dear friend of mine, my Abba Father. He is such a great listener and is my comforter. And He doesn’t care that I have bed head, that my husband is snoring and sleeps with a hair dryer, that Joseph interrupts wanting to get in our bed even though he’s almost 5, that the dog is barking at the stray cat, etc. (wow, I have a lot going on through the night…) He just listens because He loves and He loves because He is love. Yep, we've got it pretty good...don't need whiskey to drown or beer to chase our blues away, we've got the real stuff.

The smell of feet, school joys & pancakes

When your 8 yr old (the one who is the pretty princess but insists that she doesn't need a bath everyday, just perhaps once a week) tells you that your car smells like feet...my oh my, it's time for intervention!! Yuck!!! This was on Thursday and the intervention has yet to take place...pull out the nose plugs for now is all I can say...maybe i'll let my colors fly in victory this evening, but I highly doubt it. Homework, housework, etc will probably win. Let's see, note to self, schedule time to clean up my car... March 22nd. Oh dear.

Joseph suffers from asthma (the car probably doesn't help this!) and was out of school Mon-Thurs. Joshua had back surgery early Friday morning, so Pat-Pat came over that morning to prepare them for school. Being the honorable daughter-in-law that I am, began to warn her of the Joseph's evil twin that shows up at 6:30 am Mon-Fri and lasts until 7:30 am. Confident that I had prepared for the worst and armed her with a honeybun, we went on our way. She calls. Knowing that I'm about to apologize that I put her through the trenches, she begins to tell me that Joseph was just delightful. Excuse me!!! What!! Yep, he sat up and squealed..."I get to go to school today and see Turner and play with Blake on the playground, and when Blake does 'eeny meeny minee mo', she always picks me." Grandparents...need I say more.

Sunday morning was absolutely divine. Instead of going to church, we all got up as a family (with one extra - Blakey) and cooked pancakes, eggs, cheese toast, bacon.. the works, listened to praise and worship songs, and just talked and loved on each other...so precious.

Palm Trees

The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree. Proverbs 92:12-15. This is more relevant for my life than ever before....I am AMAZED. In the midst of many storms on all side of my life, my husband, children and I are standing strong and are seeking out the rays of sunshine when the storm breaks for just a moment. I know that darkness comes before the dawn...there was evening and there was morning...Genesis. I'm ready for the dawn, I know it's going to be beautiful.

My Hannah, 10, is such a delight. She is constantly laughing and has such a sense of humor. Her nickname is Grace - she's the most ungraceful person I've ever seen...and I love it! It is so opposite of me. And when she falls down, she gets back up laughing. Once we survive the "teen years" i'm looking forward to becoming one of her great friends. This morning she was walking up the steps, tripped and did a total wipe out! It was sooo funny. Between the giggles, she says..."i'm ok, i'm ok...that wasn't pleasant, but i'm ok." I think she actually may end up being taller than me, which isn't saying much, but still. When Joshua or my mom helps out with the laundry, they can't tell my clothes from hers. She's wearing my earrings and is dying to wear my shoes...how does she know which ones are my favorite?? That's my jacket she has on below!!

My babies...are growing up.

I've had this blog for quite some time and never got around to it posting to it. Well, let's just say, i've been inspired... thanks kate and hannah!!!

Well I don't have little ones around, but my big ones are just as funny! Laughter is heard quite a bit in our house...sometimes to keep from crying, other times because we tend to get the silly's.

We were riding in the car with Donna and Jimmy a couple of weeks ago and got to talking about who could whistle. Joseph listening intently said the he used to be able to whistle (which is true - i guess it was just a fluke!). When Jimmy asked him what happened, he replied nonchalantly..."I lost it....I have to get a new one." Just like that. I wish all things could be that easy!!