Forgiveness and Gratefulness

Ok, so I’ve been thinking about Hannah’s most recent blog, the one about Advice. Truth be told, when I first read it, the second time and the third time – my reaction was… “Quit whining and man up!!” “Try motherhood at 16!” “Try motherhood when you are literally below the poverty line and have to go sign up for WIC so you can feed them!” “Try motherhood when your spouse is not existent!” “Try motherhood when you are all alone and don’t have friends who are going through what you are going through!” “You think you’ve got is tough, you don’t have a clue!” For this I want to publicly apologize…I’m so sorry Hannah and all other moms out there. It bothered me that I had this reaction, and to someone I care deeply about! I had to get it off my chest. I tend to forget that no matter what the circumstances, motherhood is hard, tough, trying and demanding physically, emotionally and spiritually. In the end, we all share common concerns, prayers and hopes for our children.

I have found that the best way to combat all the …um – can’t think of a word here, so I’ll go with…crap, is having the attitude of gratitude. To be thankful for EVERY situation, even when it’s so bad that all you can think of to be grateful for is the fact that you can breath (thanks Mrs. Claire). When you begin to physically say, out loud, your gratitude, and with perhaps a good dose of tears – the gates of heaven open. God begins to transform your attitude, thoughts and perceptions. Notice I said God begins – you don’t have to do the hard stuff. The only thing you are responsible for is sending out the invitation with your words of thankfulness.

So I’ll start… “God, thank you so much for your provision for us mothers. Thank you for your faithfulness to do what you say you will do. Thank you that where you have started a good work in our children, that you will be faithful to complete it – even if we royally screw up the responsibility you gave us. Thank you that you guide our steps; that we aren’t left up to chance. Thank you that I have a home, even though you can’t see the floor for all the toys, the sink for the dishes and the fact that it smells like sweaty children. Thank you that I have clothes, even though there is a pile of laundry. Thank you that we have food to eat – even whatever that was that is now growing penicillin in the back of the refrigerator. The fact that we had enough to even have leftovers. Thank you that I have friends in my corner and love me despite of my rude, self pity reactions. Thank you that we have each other to hold accountable, to lift us up and to say, “yeah, I understand..” Lord, bless my friends, keep them, shine your face upon them, be gracious to them, turn your countenance to them, and give them your peace. Amen.” Now it's your turn...love you all. Go MOMS!!!

another tip...

There is a wonderful website out there that helps me not to stress over how to balance an 8-5 job, motherhood, housework, meals, being a wife...etc. It's www.flylady.net. This is a website that tells me where and what to clean for the day, reminds me to drink my water, helps me to take a break for me, etc. My biggest obstacle is the feeling of being so overwhelmed…If I do this, then I’ll drop the ball over there – you get the picture. I think I can honestly say Flylady saved us…it literally improved my attitude towards my husband, children, house, job and vice versa. Her motto is “Jump in where you are…” I don’t have to think about what to do – all that is required of me, my husband and the children is to follow instructions. Following instructions, believe it or not, can be difficult, but once you get the hang of it, it’s life changing. There was an MIT graduate that the studied all different types of chemicals, and had careers that dealt with such chemicals, yet he had a drug addiction. This particular man knew exactly what the chemicals were doing to his body, had been in and out of rehabs - he had the 12 steps memorized. This man knew the routine of the NA and AA program – the 12 steps, attend meetings, get a sponsor. There was really nothing that you couldn’t tell this man, yet he couldn’t kick the habit. Fortunately, he finally discovered what he wasn’t doing…he wasn’t following instructions!! Yes, he knew the in and outs of the chemicals, the program, but he was failing to do the simple thing of following the instructions of the program! So many times I find myself wondering how in the heck I get myself into situations or wonder why I can get “it” right. 99% of the time it’s because I didn’t follow the instructions. This is such a simple concept… you want the TV/VCR/DVD contraption to work correctly – follow the instructions! You want the Flylady program to work – follow the instructions! You want your husband to show you affection – follow the instructions! You want your children to be obedient – follow the instructions! Sometimes we just make life too hard when it’s so unnecessary! “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Y’all!!! It’s been laid out for us. AND, this is one area where you know that you will get complete and total results - these instructions never fail. Ya know, I think I’ll quote my dear friend and mentor, Jimmy Stewart,…“Free Will can be such a b#@%* sometimes.”

SuperFruit

SuperFruit aka Zucchini… Yes this is the way that Joshua got Joseph to eat this 4 bites of Zucchini…I mean, SuperFruit. I’m the practical, disciplinary parent and Joshua is the pushover, fun-loving parent. We actually compliment each other quite nicely. Well, I told Joseph that he had to eat his Zucchini, before he could get up from the table and/or eat his dessert of chocolate candy. Then comes the drama of the “I don’t feel good…” “But it will make me throw up…” “It feels gross in my mouth…” and my personal favorite… “I have a headache…” All these little nonsense’s go right over me – I don’t have time for that crap, now get over it and eat your Zucchini…that’s what I really want to say, but instead I just leave the room and begin cleaning up the dishes. It really doesn’t bother me how long he sits there…and whines, I can totally tune it out and go about my night. He will eventually eat his Zucchini when he’s not getting the attention and everyone has moved on…ENTER JOSHUA… “Joseph, what color is that stuff on your plate?” “Green,” says Joseph oh so pitifully. “What color is the incredible Hulk?” Joshua asks most enthusiastically. “Green,” says Joseph a little less pitifully. “That green stuff is SUPERFRUIT!!!” Joshua exclaims and bounds around the dinner table… and so it begins. I must admit that it was quite a show, and we were all laughing at Joshua and Joseph’s dialogue. About 20 mins later all the SuperFruit was gone off Joseph’s plate and Joseph was running around the house saying that he could feel is muscles getting bigger…(Had we done it my way it would have only taken about 5 minutes…he wouldn’t have sat there too long once the attention was gone) Joshua is an incredible father. And I’m so glad that he enters the rooms sometimes and can make things not so hard…or practical. AND I’m so grateful that my heavenly father does the same. Has your Abba Father given you some SuperFruit lately? Anyway, I don’t think Zucchini will ever be the same at our house…SuperFruit.

For all my fellow bloggers who are moms...

Ok, so I’ve read a few of my friends blogs lately, and thought I’d pass on a little sanity saver that was passed onto me by a mother of 8 and a mother of 5. This advice is a little early for some, but maybe it will come in handy eventually. By now most of you have found out that finding a few moments to yourself, other than at nap time, are few and far between. Now, I do my best to get up before everyone else to have a moment, and although I’m a morning person, this is sometimes still a struggle. SOOO…try this… Go to Target/Bed, Bath & Beyond/ or somewhere similar, buy a very large, comfy bath rug. Now, about the ONLY place that I could find peace was in the bathroom!!! I taught my children early on that if the bathroom door was shut, they must give me some privacy. Even my dear husband knows to knock before entering!!! Now, this is where the bath mat comes in. I’m so not kidding when I say this…I would sit/lay on the mat and say a prayer, or be still, or just take a breather! It’s AMAZING what a 5-minute timeout can do for a stressed out mom. I’ve been told by the mom of 8 that when teenage years come along, that sitting on a bath rug won’t be enough…It will take a hot shower to distress!!! Blessings...

A spin on discipline...

"When I was a youngster, " complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."

"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.

"I send him to our room!!" - Laugh-A-Lot

I love this... It's so true!!!

Joseph starting fussing in the car the yesterday morning. When I asked him what was going on, his oh so serious, 5 year old response was..."Hannah is getting on my nerves!! She is so annoying!" LOL! I was expecting something like - she hit me or something - not something so grown up like "annoying."

June 5...

"Nothing seems impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." June 5... This is what my silly calendar says today. The name of my calendar book is If you want breakfast in bed...sleep in the kitchen! It's filled will homurous quotes and statements, but the one today struck me different. Ya know, this is so very true...when we are letting God be God in our lives. I'm finding myself in some "impossible" situations lately. I get all work up...(this phrase just doesn't emcompass what I do to myself!!)..., trying to figure out how I'm going to fix it. I seem to have alot of things that need fixin, but truly what needs fixin is my perspective - shifting my focus to the One where all things are possible! (ok, my thought pattern left me so I'm gonna let you guys pick up where I left off!) LOL

Catching up

Wow, I haven’t written in a while… so let me catch up. School is out…whoo hoo!!!!!! My children did great! Both the girls exceeded in their CRCTs, and are straight A students, with Hannah’s one exception of a B in the third quarter in Math. BUT she brought it up in the end with a 101 average!! You go girl! Lauren shined again bringing home six medals. Yea!! Joseph happily graduated from K-4 and is very excited that he doesn’t have to get up in the mornings.
Baconton had a football game the last day of school. It was a lot of messy fun. It rained the entire game, but the children had a blast! Joseph took a nose dive into some mud and had to be hosed off. They literally rode in the floor board home. I’m really excited about the upcoming season.
Memorial Day weekend was fun. We played at the river, worked in the yards and played in the river a little more. We are soooo blessed.
Then we all got a horrific stomach virus – it struck Hopeful with a vengeance. L
This past weekend was the dance recital and 10 year reunion. Lauren danced her heart out and has been dancing all over the house since. The reunion…well, I must admit – I thought Joshua or I would never go to one of these… But, ya know, life has a way to remind you of what is most important and quite frankly, I was tired of seeing some of these folks at funerals – life is so fragile.
As I write this, the children and Joshua are at the beach, and I’m at work. I’ll join them Friday night only to return Sunday evening to teach 3rd – 5th grade VBS for 5 nights!